The spectre of Brownie Thieves has just gotten to be too much to ignore.
While the mainstream press ignores these incidents and various news organizations deem them to be random acts of violence and thievery, people are suffering at the hands of these incorrigable rapscalions.
Something must be done! Write your congressman! Call your mother! Tell your barber! Post a message on the bulletin board at your bowling league!
A local middle school teacher who requested to remain anonymous called police Saturday to report two recent thefts of her homemade brownies. The first disappearance occurred some time between 11:46 a.m. and 12:27 p.m. on Thursday. Havi...
* Do not bake brownies while alone, but if you must, while they are fresh, keep all your doors and windows locked.
* Never disclose your baking plans to mere acquaintances.
* Never use an exhaust fan while baking brownies. The delicious fumes could travel throughout the neighborhood and attract unscrupulous thieves.
* Beware of beautiful young girls traveling in pairs and wearing black.
