I'm Bernard McGillicuddy, daytime pipe-fitter and nighttime investigative journalist. This is a list of facts:
- There exists a cult-like group out to create the perfect brownie recipe and that they're stealing brownies from unfortunate bakers the world over to perfect their recipe.
- The police won't do anything to help, given the paucity of physical evidence these master thieves leave behind.
- The Mainstream media doesn't believe in this phenomonon, but we know it's real. We're ready to believe you, and we need your cooperation, your stories and your honesty to help us track down and take down this syndicate.
